This is the one song that I have that will still make me cry :) I am smiling as I write this blog tonight because it brings back the good memories. My now ex-husband played this song one time to wake me up in the morning. I literally cannot remember a time that I woke up happier!! I still remember right where we were in San Antonio and all the feels are coming back to me right now…but I am the exact opposite of mad or upset!
Today was seriously the best day I have had in the longest time. I have had a lot of great days in the past 6 months, but today tops them all. Work was SO fun, I got some decal orders I am SUPER excited about, I have a clean apartment, my Frankie boy has been super cuddly, and I have been jammin out to songs all evening.
In the past, some things will come up that will remind me of my husband who left me and I try to embrace these moments. An example would be when I tossed my hat on the dashboard while I was driving a few months ago. My ex used to do this ALL. THE. TIME in his car. Immediately when I tossed it up there, I got alllllll the feels. I chose to leave it up there. I decided to not take it down to try to forget him and just move on. I left my hat up there, struggled for about 30 seconds of missing him, and then I was fine. It was all good and I wasn’t even thinking of him anymore.
It has been very healing for me to sit in the moments that might normally hurt and remind me of him, and just make new memories or just accept the fact that he still is in my mind sometimes. I am this way with songs too. When I hear songs that remind me of him, I let the entire song play. I sing along because I probably really do like that song! I don’t want to be 40 years down the road and still get emotional each time I hear all these songs. That sounds awful.
This happened today. A song that reminds me of him came on. Good Morning Beautiful came on and I, for the first time ever, cried because of a song that reminded me of him. It wasn’t bawling tears, but it was literally 4 drops of tears that slowly went down my face. I was smiling. And crying. And thinking of my ex-husband. Odd combination isn’t it!!
I share this to maybe give a different approach to my friends reading this. I do not want to be the girl that can’t listen to 45 songs because they make me think of my ex. That used to be me! I would hear a song that my ex-boyfriend liked, and freak out and change the song and it would drive me crazy the whole day because I was thinking about him. It would often ruin my day! And no ex should ever have control of my thoughts and especially not my day!! No way.
Anyways, I sat at my craft desk, put down my decals, let myself soak in the song and enjoy it. I prayed to God for my ex. I prayed to God for my future husband, like I do every single day. I have no idea what God has in store for me, but I am SO SO SO excited to see what my future holds as I follow Him and His plan for me. I do hope and pray that God will lead me to a man that will love me and treat me right, and most importantly love God with his whole whole WHOLE heart. That is exciting to me! And I just have a feeling that I will have a great man who I will get to wake up to one day and he will say the exact words that this song said to me, “Good Morning Beautiful”.
I do not rely on this to make me happy. Tonight, before this song came on, I wrote in my journal and I want to share that with you. I was having seriously such a good day and wanted to keep record of this excitement in my day!
“Today has been SO GREAT. I loved work (that is nothing new #thankful for the most perfect job) and I am so blessed for that! I got home and got my new purse and shoes YAY! I wore my new sweater from Aunt Sister today and rocked it & got so many compliments, so that was awesome. I felt SO productive at work too, God thank you for the most perfect job for me! Thank you Lord for giving me such a great attitude today and for my fun Etsy orders! I am so ready to thrive on my own Lord and follow your path for me. I pray for my future husband Lord and I pray for (my ex). Please lead them both on the path you have planned for them! I love You and I trust You God.”
I hope you can just feel the excitement, joy and happiness in my journal today. Friends, God is so good! I could have made this evening such a disaster when I heard the ONE song came on that reminds me most of my ex, but I didn’t. I chose to soak up moments that could be painful and make them productive for God (wise words from my bestie pal Chlo Chlo). I chose to sit there, sing along, and get excited for the future! The past is the past. Ain’t NO WAY I am going back, I only have great tings to come and that is all because of my loving and gracious God.
Happy Thursday friends! Subscribe to the blog on the home page and drop a prayer request if I can be praying for you!!
xoxo,
Morgan Leigh
We just discovered a dog park and we are THRIVING!!
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