Hi I am Morgan Leigh and I am human. I get jealous. Jealousy can be really hard for a lot of people, and I have noticed that it can really take a toll on your life. July 10th could have been a day that I let jealousy win. I prayed, prepared and partied it up, and I did not let jealousy own me on that day.
For those of you who don’t know, I am divorced. It has almost been a year since my husband said he was leaving. It has been a CRAZY ride, but I am excited to say that I am thriving. July 10th was the day that my sister got married. It was the most beautiful day and I am thrilled to have her husband officially be part of our family!
Being divorced and going into wedding season as a maid of honor, it has been nothing that I expected. My sister got engaged a few weeks before my divorce was finalized. I have shared this before, but I was amazed that I was filled with true and pure joy on that day. I honestly thought it would suck. Great, she is getting married and I am getting divorced. This sucks. But no! My great and loving God was with me and He helped me be filled with joy, joy that I did not think would exist.
Moving on toward wedding planning and festivities, I was stressed. I was worried for July 10th. I didn’t know how it would go! Would I be able to hold it together when I was standing up by her? Could I enjoy the very best day for my sister? Would I truly be happy or would I fake it the entire day? These thoughts crossed my mind leading up to the day.
My sweet friend from Houston asked me if I knew what the preacher was going to say. He happened to be the one who did the ceremony for me and my ex-husband as well, so was it going to be similar? Would my mind shoot back to my own wedding day? These are also thoughts that crossed my mind. I decided to reach out to my preacher and ask how the wedding ceremony was going to go. He was able to send me the speech that he prepared and this calmed a lot of my worries. I knew what he was going to say! This took care of a lot that I thought could surprise me during the ceremony. I asked my sister for the whole guest list. I didn’t want to be caught off guard by seeing someone I didn’t expect. Maybe someone that would bring back other memories, maybe even memories from MY wedding day.
I asked the sweet friends who came to do hair and makeup what their plans were. They also did my hair and makeup for my wedding, so I just wanted to check in and see their plans. That was easy! Just don’t do the same lip color, and change up my hair. No biggie and got that checked off!
I didn’t want this day to be about me at all. I wanted to prepare myself before the day so I could make it be all about my sister and her marriage…and nothing about me or my past.
I also prayed. I prayed A LOT leading up to this day. My precious friends from my church in Houston prayed for me. Weekly during small groups, they would check-in, see how I am doing leading up to the wedding and continued to pray for me and my family for the big day! The number of messages I got on the big day was the sweetest. Friends and family texted me just saying they were praying for me on this day because they knew it might be hard!
Getting divorced and then being in a wedding is weird!! But also so good. And I am so thankful The Lord was sweet to me and truly made the day so perfect. Marriage is a sweet thing and I’m thankful I don’t have negative emotions toward it!
I am a terrible dancer and I know it, but I literally had such a good time out on the dance floor at Vivian’s wedding! I honestly imagined myself sitting in the back room because I couldn’t handle the thought of a wedding and being on the dance floor. I know that sounds extremely depressing and sad, but I had no idea what this day would look like for me. I was doing the exact opposite of that, and here is a funny/embarrassing picture to show just that. I was THRIVING! (The cupid shuffle was my jam)
I share all of this to say, it is important to prepare. Prepare for what you can control and what you know is coming up. A ton of things will happen that you cannot control and that you don’t expect, but I knew about this day for about a year. I prepared as best I could.
I also prayed. I prayed more than I have in my whole life. I was so excited for this day, and my precious Lord and Savior was with me the entire time and I felt it.
I also PARTIED!! Have a fun time!!! Get out with your friends and just enjoy life. Don’t let jealousy win. Be happy for your friends and thank God for all of the special moments.
Proverbs 14:30 says, “A peaceful heart gives life to the body. But jealousy rots the bones.” I share all of this to maybe help someone else in my shoes. Maybe you just went through a breakup and happen to have a wedding to attend soon. Are you dreading it? Debating if you should even go? Talk to God about that. Tell Him your worries and ask Him for guidance. Talk to your friends and mentors. Are you going with a group of your best pals? If so, let them in on your thoughts.
I would love to be praying for you specifically during this season! I am fully aware of how hard breakups/divorce can be, but I also am living proof of how precious God is when you lean on Him and follow His path for you. Please reach out if I can be praying for you, I would love to be.
Xoxo,
Morgan Leigh
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