Man today is rough. Certain things are driving me insane and the only person who really understood and knew about it, was my ex-husband. He knew it all. Gosh we were together for so long, so of course he knew it all.
Today I really realized I’ll be starting over. And not like the “we dated for a year and broke up so dang it” but like I WAS MARRIED and now am starting over. It’s just so weird. Am I going to get married again? How do I explain everything and all my issues to my future husband? There is SO much to share and it stresses me out that he won’t understand.
But then I recall my trust in God. I don’t need to be stressing about who God brings into my life. I can’t control that, but I can trust that He will. I can trust that God knows exactly what I need. God knows exactly who I need too.
Today is weird. I have already accepted the fact that I am no longer with my ex-husband...but I keep finding myself wanting to pick up the phone and vent to him. Because he understood!!! He wanted the absolute best for me and when I vented, he listened. He cared. Obviously I loved that he cared for me.
But. He’s gone. I texted my mentor that I was struggling and she literally said: “He is gone Morg.” Yep. You are right. I appreciated her reminding me because I don’t want to sugar coat it. We are done forever. He is gone. That relationship is no longer. I have to move on.
I haven’t cried in a while but today I cried. I cried because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m stressed. I had everything I wanted and now I don’t. I was married and now I’m not. I had my best friend and lived with him and now I don’t. I honestly didn’t know what to do today but then my friends reminded me a lot.
They reminded me it’s going to be a hard Christmas. They reminded me it’s not going to be the same but to have hope that I will find someone who will be so perfect for me. My friends reminded me that Satan is going to be on me like FLIES. Satan is getting to my mind and wants me to miss my ex. He wants me to think that nobody will ever be as good as he was. My friends also reminded me that God loves me and cares for me and wants me to be taken care of! This is the same for YOU who is reading this. God wants all of these things for you too.
Satan is trying to tell me this is how life will always be. I will never be happy. I will never find someone who will understand me and my struggles but this is incorrect. Satan is wrong yet again. I know that God has the perfect plan for me!
Something crazy that I will always remember happened when my husband at the time and I were having a conversation. It was after he said he was leaving, but before the divorce was finalized. We had to meet up a few times to discuss the divorce papers, and this time was different. I don’t remember who said it first, but one of us said that we will make someone so happy one day. Then the other of us said the same thing. THIS WAS SO WEIRD!!!
My husband who was leaving me, was telling me that I was going to find someone and I would make them so happy and they would make me so happy. And I told my husband, who was LEAVING ME, that he would make someone so happy and that they would make him so happy. This was weirdddd you guys. But at least for me, I wasn’t being fake. I was being real. Which is also super weird that I was saying that.
I think about this often as I pray for my ex. I pray that he does find someone that will make him happy!! And most importantly, that she will love God with her whole heart. I pray for my future husband, but I need to remember to be praying for him more. I am so excited to meet him, and the best thing I can be doing now I pray for him. I don’t need to stress that he won’t understand my issues because if he is the man God has for me, he will. He will be so perfect for me that it is crazy!!
I share all of this to say, I hope you are praying. I wonder if someone reading this is single and maybe just went through a breakup. Maybe you are missing your ex, but you know there is someone better for you. I know that there is! Starting over is terrifying. But we need to remember how God specifically tells us that He will use ALL things for GOOD in Romans 8:28… “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
This is so encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you too. Today might be rough. You might be missing your ex and wondering a lot of different things. I really don’t know what is going to happen, but I do know it will be good because of God. And that is just awesome.
I ask that you pray for me! Pray for me as I go through this weird time of knowing I am not with my ex-husband, but having hope in God of what comes next! It is exciting but also kind of weird. I am praying for all of my readers, but please drop a prayer request in the box on the home page if I can specifically pray for you!
xoxo,
Morgan Leigh
Here is me starting over. I am thriving doing my own thing, going to Michael's craft store and getting whatever my heart desires. Starting over can suck, but make the best of it. Have fun. Start a business. Have a hobby. Do something! Make it great.
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